Don't Be First to Marry the Bad Boy

Too often women want to marry the cute guy with bad boy tendencies, or just bad boys. We think they are cute and edgy. However, bad boys don't make good first husbands. Because of their good looks and popularity, they want to take advantage of their options as often and as long as they can. So, you give him the, "Marry me or I will leave" ultimatum. And, because they don't want to lose you, they marry you. Yet they keep their single lifestyle. So you marry him, thinking you can mold or change him into your ideal guy. But it's too soon. He is not finished sowing his wild oats. He's not ready to settle down, which is what he keeps telling you, but you are not ready to hear. You want what you want, when you want it. You have it all planned out in your head. You have created your own reality, which is not real.

So when you find out he is cheating on you, you get mad, concede under pressure and divorce him. You become bitter and divorced. The next guy you meet will be nothing like your pretty boy ex husband. You look for just the opposite and marry him. He's a good guy and he's safe. And you end up settling for about 65% of what you wanted.

Your ex husband goes on living his single life, until he grows up more. He's older, his friends are married with children and he has a different perspective on life. So, now he meets and marries someone else. New wife has the good looking edgy former bad boy who has sold his wild oats, and is ready to settle down. He's not looking to cheat. He's been there, done that, has a divorce to prove it. He now remembers all of the things you tried to instill in him and is applying them with his new wife. She gets the faithful husband. She gets to have his very cute children. She gets the date nights and sensitivity and everything else that you told him YOU needed.

Why? Because patience is a virtue you ignored. Say what you want about the women who has the cutie bad boyfriend who cheats on them. They that wait on him to get it out of his system get to eat the good of the marriage. Look at Ice T, or Charlie Wilson, or LL Cool J. I'm not saying they cheated on their wives or that their marriages are perfect. I don't personally know any of them. I just know they had the "ladies man persona," and that's all it could have very well been. But they have been married a very long time, by today's standards, and they all appear to be happy. Whenever I see them they dote on their wives at every opportunity.

Trust me, I am not advocating for anyone to stay with a man that cheats on you. God forbid. Even the bible gives you adultery as a way out. And I can assure you, that I would NOT do it. I am just saying, we shouldn't be quick to judge other women. It's our judgment of each other that has created the pressure to do what might not be the right thing to do, or the right time to do it. I am saying, what I have said for 38 years, seek God's counsel. Don't listen to any voice but His voice. Leave your girlfriends out of the decision making process. As a matter of fact, don't even tell them, if you can help it. Pray to God only. Wait to receive His instructions. He is the only one who is all knowing. He is the only one who knows the future, contrary to psychic beliefs. He is the only one who knows who is perfect for you. Don't put God in a box. I've known God to do some pretty unorthodox things, things that the church would have frowned upon. Don't second guess God. Don't anticipate what you think He will say. Don't make any decisions without Him.

In a nutshell, if you want to marry a cutie pie bad boy, don't be the first in line. Wait. Wait I say on The Lord. His timing is perfect.